Its been a while.
I just haven't gotten the time to draw, just don't got that 'urge' to draw.
Its not like any of my work is anywhere near an average level.

But I guess I should update for the sake of it.

Since last semester of school, I've been having problem with myself. As in what I want, and who I am. I thought I could go thru life with a blank personality and just be someone that my parents want to be and what would make the rest of my family members happy. Putting them in front of me all these years only made me hate myself more. To the point I find living harder and harder.

Ending being all emo, hating everything, despising people I normally don't. Hating people who F up my childhood. It got to the point where I was totally disgusted with myself, because of the way I was thinking.

I mean I have good days, just for some reason the bad ones just hinders everything.

But with that said, my daily life is school home work school home work.
Nothing out of the usual undergrad college life. I barely hang out with my friends, unless its 'grabbing lunch' between breaks.

I just feel like there's so much responsibities on me that it just doesn't seem fair. Life is not fair, but isn't there somethings in life where I am not required in it. Like everything from family to school, people rely on me. Its not because I'm rely-able but because I'm an 'yes person'. I want to say 'no' but my parents would lecture me, and I would feel guilty if I say 'no' to my friends.

I feel so uneasy and its bothering the hell out of me, to the point I feel tight in my chest, its a mental thing, but it feels real enough to make me cry myself to sleep.

People have it worst than me but I can't bring myself to calm down.